Just last week, my dad and I left to go on my first backpacking trip. This trip was planned over the last year, and he drove all the way from Michigan to meet me—needless to say, we were pumped. We mapped out the four-pass loop in Maroon Bells, Aspen, Colorado; a twenty-eight mile journey through one of the most photographed locations in the U.S.
Though we had prepared with gear and food and felt ready, we had absolutely no idea what we were getting into. I didn’t realize we would have to climb up and over four mountain ranges in four days that totaled in 13,000 feet in elevation…WITH a pack on. After the first day, I thought I would have to get helicoptered out. I could barely get up out of my sleeping bag. My collarbones were bruised and my legs felt like tree trunks. I knew I had to strap my pack back on my aching body and continue the trek for twenty-two more miles.
I found that as I was climbing the mountain before me for the day, I felt fear and anxiety because I didn’t think I could make it. I took one breathy step at a time, and when I reached the top to lookout at the vast mountain range, I felt the anxiety and fear leave, because I DID it. And it was so rewarding to feel accomplished and lookout on the fields of wild flowers and snowcapped mountains.
On the final day four of the trip, my dad and I woke up at 5 am to get a good start on our last mountain pass. Within the first ten minutes of walking, I felt a surge of anger. My pack wasn’t fitting right for the day and no matter how many times I re-packed it, it wasn’t laying against my back like it should. I literally threw the pack off my back and screamed. My poor dad…he really has seen the worst of me, and still has patience with me. He just said, “Well that’s not gonna do anything.” I felt like a child that just threw a fit. But I was SO angry.
Normally something so minor wouldn’t make me so angry—so I was confused as to why I wanted to chuck my pack off the mountain. I realized after I strapped it back on and continued walking, my anger was SO much more than a pack not fitting right. I carried it with me on the trip. I carried it with me for a long time, actually. I am just very good at stuffing things down so I don’t feel them. But things in our heart always surface eventually, right?
Here I was, thinking all my troubles and circumstances would be forgotten on this trip with my dad. I wanted peace and amazing memories, but my dad just watched me scream like a little kid that’s mad. As we kept walking that day, I started to pray. They weren’t nice prayers, by the way. I was mad at God. I’ve prayed for a long time for him to take away some of my burdens that have been weighing on me.
As I neared the top of the mountain, a phrase kept running through my head. “What you packin?” (Which I found is best read in Jersey accent). At first it made absolutely no sense to me. But as I kept hearing it, God dropped the meaning heavy on my heart. He was quietly speaking to me despite my anger.
This past season of my life, my pack has been filled with anger, worry, fear, anxiety, hopelessness, and defeat. Those things are all the weight of this world and if you carry them, you know how heavy they are. Our bodies were not made to carry that weight. Jesus did, when he carried the cross up the mountain before him. Jesus says, in Matthew 11:28-30,
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
I don’t know about you, but I would much rather walk with Jesus and a light pack, than be weighed down by a heavy pack that doesn’t fit my body right. When the lord gently asked me, “What you packin?”, he revealed in a lighthearted way the reason of all my defeat. I realized in that moment that I would rather things in my pack to be peace in knowing that I am saved by grace for eternity. I want to put in my pack the love that doesn’t weigh a thing because it’s unconditional. I want you all to know that no matter where you are on the mountain, whether on the top or in the valley below, you CAN make it because Jesus already took all the weight for you.
Now, that doesn’t mean you won’t go through some pain and suffering while reaching the top. Pack or no pack, my legs were not feeling the incline. But Jesus does want you to know your journey is FREE of the weight of this world. You get to choose what to pack in this race of life.
So today, I ask you the question. “What you packin’ friend?”—Have you been burdened by things of this world that you just can’t handle anymore? Would you like a lighter load? God wants that for you too. Here are some verses that have encouraged me to put the right things in my pack and let go of all the weight:
1 Peter 5:7 -“Cast ALL your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
John 16:33 -“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
John 14:27 -“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”
Romans 15:13 -“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
Prayer—
Lord Jesus, thank you that despite the circumstances that sometime don’t make sense, you have the best in mind for your people. You see my entire journey, from beginning to end. Reveal today anything in my pack that is weighing me down. Show me the things I can throw out, and replace with the delights of you. Show me how to pack peace that passes understanding and love that is so unconditional that it weighs nothing. Show us how to let go of anger and frustration, and teach us how to walk without burden on this journey of life. In Jesus’ name, Amen.