If you asked me a few months ago how I was doing emotionally, I would have told you I was an emotional train wreck. I felt unseen, forgotten, and not needed by anyone, especially by God. Although part of me knew these irrational thoughts and feelings were far from God’s truth – it was much easier to believe them than it was to fight past them, run to God, and seek out his life-giving word. Instead of running to the cross, I gaven power to these irrational thoughts that had quickly spread like wildfire; leaving me feeling defeated, abandoned, and utterly alone. In other words, my emotions were running my life.
One day I started desperately praying:
Father God,
Why do I always feel forgotten and abandoned by you? Why does it feel like you are constantly leaving me? Don’t you love me? Don’t you care? Why did you make me this way? Why am I so emotional, all the time? Why is it so easy to let my emotions run my life? Abba, help me, please. I need you to be at the center of my life.
It was in that moment that I realized that it is when our emotions completely take the seat of Jesus’ throne, we’re letting our emotions have more power and control of our lives than Him. You see, Jesus wasn’t at the center of my life, my emotions were. I had let them multiply like untamed wildfire trying to extinguish whatever little truth was there. And that is exactly what they were doing.
A few weeks later I noticed when I didn’t connect with God for a day (or two or three) that my thoughts started to shift from being centralized on Him to the world. Instead of seeking God above all else, I slowly began to seek the things of this world and those irrational thoughts started feeding my emotions piece by piece and before I know it the rest is history. But the more I invited God in, the less my emotions ruled over me. It turned out that I could avoid most of the unnecessary hurt and emotional distress if I simply invited God in.
As I began to ponder my revelation, I started thinking: maybe it doesn’t have to be this way. What if being an emotional person doesn’t mean I have to be a slave to my emotions? What if instead of letting my emotions control my mind, I allowed God’s word to direct my mind and give me a renewed perspective?
When we read God’s life-giving word, process it, pray, and make time to genuinely connect with God we are allowing God to transform us and renew our minds (Romans 12:2). We are taking the old off and putting on the new – the truth of the living God. The more we trust God and ask Him to align our path with his, the less power and control we let our emotions have over us. As we become rooted in God’s word, we become spiritually stable and with spiritual stability comes renewed thoughts and emotional strength.
Colossians 2:6-10 (emphasis added) says:
“So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than on Christ. For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and in Christ you have been brought to fullness. He is the head over every power and authority.”
Christ paid the ultimate sacrifice so that we may know him, glorify him, and be free from the weight of our sins – which includes those emotions that are wired into our fallen nature. The good news is not only has Christ freed us from those emotions and feelings but he is also greater and more powerful than anything we may ever feel.
Friends, no matter how unworthy, alone, or uninvited you feel try to truly and wholeheartedly embrace the presence of God. Remember, you are not alone. His presence is always with us, seeking us, and changing us – but the real fruit, the real fullness, and the real freedom comes when our presence also seeks, thirsts, and rests in Him. I encourage you to turn off Netflix, put your phone on silent, step away from your kids and husband, get away from the overwhelming aspects of life and go somewhere quiet to spend 10 to 15 minutes with God – with no distractions and no excuses. Read his word, pray, and rest. Seek his presence. Let God take back the throne and radically transform your thoughts, feelings, and mind. Ask Him to take power and control over your emotions and to lead you in the way everlasting.