It is there when all other feelings are muted. It is an ache that turns deep in one’s heart. It is heartbrokenness that cuts deep like a sword. It may last hours into the night, walk with you for days on end, or hit you for a brief moment. That is what I call that feeling– the deep hurt. Maybe you’ve experienced it and have your own name for it, maybe you have yet to experience it. Maybe it was caused by circumstances out of your control like deep disappointment or betrayal, or an experience like a family member or friend passing away, a phone call with heartbreaking news.
Some things may ease it, replace it, cover it up, or distract from it. You may go out and buy things to make you feel better, exercise relentlessly, drink or even eat to comfort you. You might turn to yourself or use the consolation of others to help you. I have tried some of these things, and sometimes they help for a period of time. But true healing, true comfort, true solace, true joy comes from the only One who can give that to you without a cost and for forever–Jesus.
Things and people will not always be there for you. Those replacements last just moments in time. But Jesus is, always has and always will be there for you.
Sometimes it is hard to turn to Jesus–how can someone not physically present comfort me? Not even in the moments of the deep hurt, but as I move forward from it and as I question the “why?”
During those times, I choose to rely on scripture to draw me close to Him.
Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need-Hebrews 4:16
First, He promises to help us through as we draw near to him.
And here is what I find:
He has experienced suffering and suffers along with ours
For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ
He consoles us
When anxiety was great within me,
your consolation brought me joy–Psalm 94:19
He gives us grace and encouragement
May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had–Romans 15:5
He gives us peace
He himself is our peace–Ephesians 2:14
I also look at Jesus’ life–Jesus wept for others. He felt and experienced grief like we do. He wept when comforting His friends whose brother had just passed away. I believe that Jesus was overcome with empathy and love for his grieving friends just as we would be. Jesus may not be physically present, but he is with us in our hurt and feels it with us.
Which is why He names himself the God of Comfort and Father of Compassion:
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 2 Corinthians 1:3-5
He comforts us so that we can comfort others. When you see others experiencing the deep hurt, you can be filled with His compassion to show empathy and love toward them, to walk alongside them. He helps lead the way as an example for us to be there for others and show others His love.
You can use these verses to help you in prayer when situations arise–write them on a card and carry them with you as a reminder that He is with you.
I pray you have found encouragement through this, that you do not stop searching when the deep hurt comes. But instead, turn to Him. Draw near to Him and to His Word and He will pour comfort into your heart, mind and soul in a way nothing else on this earth can. I pray He puts people into your life who have experienced the deep hurt who can point you closer to Him.