A time for celebration is approaching. In a few days, we will gather with our family and friends and give thanks to God for His favor. We will thank Him for a myriad of blessings; big and small. While most focus on the positives of this year, others will not be able to celebrate. Does grief have a place at Thanksgiving? Usually grief is not served with your mashed potatoes.

A lot of us have a hard time with the subject of grief. If we’re not busy with the usual everyday tasks, we find other alternatives to occupy that space. Our contemplative moments may make us feel intimidated by the emotional baggage associated with grief. How does this affect our presence with God and with others?

In Leviticus 10 the Scriptures talk about two men Nadab and Abihu who experienced the outcome of God’s consequences after they offered unauthorized fire before the Lord. So the Lord sent fire and consumed them, and they died. The Lord then spoke and said,

“Among those who approach me I will be proved holy; in the sight of all the people I will be honored.” (Leviticus 10:3)

Holiness is the fundamental frame of who God is. Nadab and Abihu were seemingly bringing fire to the temple in an act of worship yet, their hearts were not fully vested. God is Holy and deserves our finest not legalistic faithfulness. We are to bring our offerings without defect, pure, and clean. God is a God of order and deserves our fullness.

How can we possibly bring our fullness if we are holding onto grief? Lamentations offers an example. Lamentations was written about 586/7 BC after a long siege, in which the Babylonian army defeated Jerusalem’s defenses. King Nebuchadnezzar captured and destroyed the city of Jerusalem and it’s cherished temple. Only a few survivors remained and the others were sent into exile.

“The enemy has plundered her completely, taking every precious thing she owns. She has seen foreigners violate her sacred Temple, the place the Lord had forbidden them to enter.” (Lamentations 1:10)

Lamentations was written as a memorial to Jerusalem. Can we not also apply the same thoughts in regards to our own pain? When we offer time to God to lament, our purpose is to cry out for Him to intervene, acknowledge God is sovereign, identify our role, and ask for forgiveness. To lament does not require you to beat your chest and weep, though that may happen as a result. Lamenting is simply bringing your hurt to the foot of the cross, giving it to the Lord, and spending time in silence to hear the Lord. We do this to reverently seek spiritual closure so that we can become clean again. In Leviticus 19 the Lord said to Moses,

“Give the following instructions to the entire community of Israel. You must be holy because I, the Lord your God, am holy.” (Leviticus 19:2)

God promises to be with His people. Whenever God declares a place to be holy, it is because He manifests Himself there. If we are to consider ourselves God’s dwelling place, we must be willing to sweep out all worldly comforts where darkness can hide.

Below I have listed four ways you can begin a practice of lament. The most important factors to remember are: First, turn to the Lord. Second, lay your burdens down. Third, acknowledge who He is (Psalm 145). And lastly, trust Him.

1. Gather a group of friends to read and meditate over the book of Lamentations. Pausing after each chapter for silent contemplation. Have discussion and prayer time at the end of the reading. Lastly, read Psalm 133.
2. Select meditative worship songs to center your spirit then read Psalm 142 and journal in silence. Journal or doodle for at least 30 minutes to an hour. After journaling, read Psalm 144 aloud.
3. Spend a day in silence, starting with a few hours if you have never tried this before. Listen or read through the book of Psalms; stopping to journal if you feel led.
4. Fast for three days in whatever way you are comfortable and incorporate the reading of Psalms and Lamentations. Giving yourself time for silent contemplation.  

I pray the Lord bless you greatly as you lament before giving thanks.

The Lord is my Shepherd; I have all that I need. He lets me rest in green meadows; He leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name. Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me. You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings. Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever. (Psalm 23, New Living Translation)