See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. (1 John 3:1-2)

When a baby is born, one of the first things it seems people want to discuss is who the baby looks like. Does it look like the dad? Or the mom?

Then parents decide how to raise their children rightly, and the “rightly” inevitably and at least partially is translated to mean the way the parents are. Kids often end up mimicking their parents in their actions.

Eventually children grow up and can determine whether they want to think like their parents. Are their spiritual pursuits what I desire for my life? Do I want to pursue the same professional path as they did? Which habits of my parents do I want to develop?

Then children leave the house, pursuing their dreams and goals and maybe becoming parents themselves. They probably consult their parents during all those crucial milestones in their life.

This is the general overview of what a life of being a parent or a child looks like. For some children though, there is another chapter in the story: they find themselves as parents to their parents, for a variety of reasons, and this reversal of who the parent is will probably rock a person’s world.

It’s currently doing that to me.

In the fear, the sadness, and the uncertainty of my mother’s recent cancer diagnosis, I have found myself doing tasks she was doing for me not that many years ago. So when I came upon this familiar verse on suffering below, I was struck by something new.

For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. (Romans 8:14-17)

Indeed, no matter how great our parents are (or are not), God has graciously given us the mindset we are to have about suffering and identity: He is our true Father. Our true parent. No matter what we think of our parents, you being the child of Barbara or Joann or Juanita or Derek or John comes AFTER your identity as being the child of God.

…Hallelujah.

Growing up without a father, I rested in this truth and beauty of being His daughter. Now, in light of recent circumstances, I find myself again wrestling with the meaning of this verse to my life, but also to every person’s life that calls Him our Savior and Friend. I am reminding myself that no matter what happens to Mom, I will remain firstly His daughter. He will protect me, He will uphold me, He will provide me richly with all that I need emotionally and mentally. Through being constantly reminded that He is Our Father, I can go to him more and more to ask, to learn, to listen, to become more like Him. We can seek to look like and mimic Him, and that will remain the goal no matter where our earthly parents are. I have already seen Him provide as My Father: He has uniquely preserved the memories of growing up with Mom; He has provided me with the comfort of a strong support system of believers; He will direct me every time I call to Him throughout this journey.  

“Next time suffering comes, say to it, “Welcome my dear friend. Produce in me the glory that God has designed.” – Thabiti Anyabwile

No matter how present your parents are in your life, no matter if they have passed away, the true person we can look to for comfort, belonging, for our true home is in our Creator and Father. We were His before we were our parents’ child, and through our time here on Earth comes sufferings to produce in us the glory for which He has called us. This will be ultimately fulfilled when He returns. See what great love the Father has lavished on us!

“The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now… if we are children then we are heirs — heirs of God and co-heirs of Christ — if we indeed share in his sufferings in order that we may share in his glory.”

What better can we desire than to be His heir, than to share in His glory?

Nothing if not you, Lord.