Dating Well During Engagement

man putting ring on woman's hand

The engagement season can oftentimes feel absolutely overwhelming. It can feel like there is a never ending to-do list and deadlines to meet leading up to the big day. But amidst wedding planning, I had my relationship with my future spouse to care for as the days come closer to marriage. How do I wedding plan, future plan, and grow in my relationship all at the same time? It is my hope that this post will help you learn from what I learned during engagement.  This past spring, I married my best friend. The wedding day was the best day of my life–filled with friends and family, laughter, and dancing. But since then, each day married has been better than the day before. I attribute this to two things – Jesus being the first love in our hearts, and the amount of work and preparation we put into our relationship […]

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Grace in the Mom Grind

mom toddler

As I looked around the days after Christmas, with all of the toys on the floor and mess everywhere, I thought, “I can’t handle this!” My kids were knee-deep in remote control cars, barbies, kid makeup, stuffed animals, and blocks. My four-year-old daughter was yelling at her two-year-old brother over touching her stuff, and he was hitting her in response. It felt like chaos. As a parent, and it seems like in particular a mom, you want to do everything perfectly. We hear from the world that YOU, the parent, are the one in charge of how successful, smart and well-rounded your child becomes. You need to get the best, most engaging, and __toys, but not TOO many toys or they won’t be able to focus. Moms need to spend as much time as possible playing with their kids and taking them to educational outings, but you better have a […]

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What Contacts Have Taught Me About Comparison

silhouette of pregnant woman

Life-long contact wearers make putting them in look so easy, don’t they? Boop! and it’s in.  My first week of wearing contacts, however, was less ‘boop’ and more UGH. I wasn’t patient or gentle with myself at all. I was flustered and frustrated and honestly? A little embarrassed that contacts were bringing out a “shame monger” in me. Dramatic as it might sound, for a split second I actually felt like a failure of a person for not being able to easily put in contacts. Similarly, comparison has a way of obscuring our vision. “Those People” The second I begin to notice I’m comparing myself to the proverbial they, I know my vision is clouded. For me lately, that’s been comparing myself to other pregnant mamas. How they looked. What they did to prepare. How they felt throughout pregnancy.  But to say something is one way for ALL pregnant women […]

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When The Lost Are Found

man carrying boy while standing and smiling near pine trees

Several years back, my husband informed me that he didn’t want to be a Christian anymore and was tired of trying to do the right thing. His explanation reminded me of the prodigal son in the Luke 15 parable. The Lost Son In this parable of the prodigal son in Luke 15:11-32, Jesus tells a story of a man with two sons. The younger of the two asks for his inheritance and leaves his father’s home. He wastes all the money he received, leaving him poor and hungry. The son decides to head home, hoping that maybe his father will allow him to work as a servant.  Much to his surprise when he returns, his father runs to greet him with open arms. The father is delighted to see his son one again, and is quick to give him fancy clothing and jewelry. The father even calls for a special […]

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Look at Jesus on the cross. Who do you need to forgive?

Cross

During this Lenten season, I’ve been thinking a lot about my disposition towards forgiving others, a virtue we all should at least be thinking about today, on Good Friday. Join me on a journey through Psalm 88, and then through the lens of a woman’s testimony from the Rwandan genocide only two decades ago. Let’s start in Psalm 88: LORD, you are the God who saves me; day and night I cry out to you. May my prayer come before you; turn your ear to my cry. I am overwhelmed with troubles and my life draws near to death. I am counted among those who go down to the pit; I am like one without strength. I am set apart with the dead, like the slain who lie in the grave, whom you remember no more, who are cut off from your care. You have put me in the lowest […]

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When Romance Falls Short

person in black long sleeve shirt

As I sat on the couch recently reflecting on my marriage, I wept and cried out to the Lord wondering, “What has happened? Why don’t I feel as pursued by him as I once did? Why do I long for greater intimacy in my marriage?” This scene has not been uncommon in our five and half years of marriage. But why? Because my husband is selfish and unthoughtful? Absolutely not! My husband is genuinely a gift from the Lord. He is tender, compassionate, an amazing listener, and a man after God’s own heart. I am truly undeserving in many ways of such a companion! Yet, in nearly every season of married life, I go through bouts where I feel a deep ache in my soul, wondering what has happened to the romance and love we first felt. Why do I sometimes still feel lonely?  These questions have driven me to […]

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Make Disciples of All Nations

If someone asked me what my passions are, discipleship would be one of my top passions. Discipleship is teaching someone to follow Jesus. It is doing life with a person (they seeing your routine interactions with others and how you live your life) and walking alongside them in their relationship with Christ. Discipleship has no age requirements or limits on spiritual maturity. Discipleship is important to me because Jesus commanded it. “Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them…. and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.” Matthew 28:16-20 NIV. Jesus did not say, “go and make converts of all nations, He said “go and make disciples.” I was in my mid 20’s when a lady from my church asked if I wanted to be discipled by her. We had been co-leading a college girls’ bible study together.  I was thrilled that she asked me as I […]

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I’m pretty scared to get married

I’m getting married!!!! This is the point where you respond with, “CONGRATULATIONS!!!” It’s at this moment when my former pastor’s voice echoes in my head from when he announced to us all in a sermon in 2016 that “Marriage is like dying a thousand small deaths every day.” I was never the gal who pined about her future husband and kids, so adding on the higher calling as a married Christian couple, that learning only seemed to further reinforce that I’m in no rush to get married. I’ll start thinking about that in about 5-10 years, I told myself. Three years later … and I’m getting married. And the dying a thousand small deaths is near…! “You may have learned where problems typically exist for you as a couple, and you may have learned how to solve them together. You may have identified places where you and your marriage need […]

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Just a Mom

“So what do you do?”  This question usually follows some introduction by the other person about how he is responsible for the basic architecture of the internet, how he developed the concept of public key cryptography securing basic Internet commerce, how he is one of the pioneers credited for GPS, or how she’s currently translating her husband’s autobiography into Italian (he’s the gentlemen on your left who designed the first commercial microprocessor).  Okay, so I might have been at an awards gala honoring the people who have basically shaped how we live today…  But I live in Silicon Valley. You don’t have to look very far to encounter people changing the world. I usually stare blankly for a moment before moving on.  “So what do I do?” I’m the COO of an organization whose primary goal is to invest in the lives of specific young people to better the community […]

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