It is there when all other feelings are muted. It is an ache that turns deep in one’s heart. It is heartbrokenness that cuts deep like a sword. It may last hours into the night, walk with you for days on end, or hit you for a brief moment. That is what I call that feeling– the deep hurt. Maybe you’ve experienced it and have your own name for it, maybe you have yet to experience it. Maybe it was caused by circumstances out of your control like deep disappointment or betrayal, or an experience like a family member or friend passing away, a phone call with heartbreaking news.

This past year has been nothing short of traumatic for me emotionally, academically, spiritually, and relationally. Of all things that could have gone wrong, a solid 90% of it did. I struggled in my classes like I had never before and marked a historical event in my life: my lowest gpa to date. I started liking a guy friend of mine, which is always a mess in and of itself. I had an emotional break down about my future career plans because of a slight potential that it might not go as I had planned. An awful and ridiculous rumor was started by none other than my own church friend. I destroyed my eating disciplines. Lastly, I lost my church community due to this series of unfortunate events. Everything really did go wrong.