The engagement season can oftentimes feel absolutely overwhelming. It can feel like there is a never ending to-do list and deadlines to meet leading up to the big day. But amidst wedding planning, I had my relationship with my future spouse to care for as the days come closer to marriage. How do I wedding plan, future plan, and grow in my relationship all at the same time? It is my hope that this post will help you learn from what I learned during engagement. This past spring, I married my best friend. The wedding day was the best day of my life–filled with friends and family, laughter, and dancing. But since then, each day married has been better than the day before. I attribute this to two things – Jesus being the first love in our hearts, and the amount of work and preparation we put into our relationship […]
Immovable Identity
“Am I good enough? Am I deserving of love today?” These are the types of questions that run through my mindas I seek my husband’s approval. Just recently, my husband, Josh, told friends of some marriage advice he received prior to our wedding. The advice was basically if there is a problem in your marriage, 99 percent of the time, it comes down to the man’s issue. Now, I’m gonna be honest, as a woman, this sounds great. No problems are really mine? If he was better, everything would be better? Sign me up. Of course, what the advice really meant was, please lead your family, outdo her in love, be an example in love and sacrifice. Of course, I know I sin and mess up very often and that these problems of mine in attitude and actions can affect my marriage in many negative ways, just like my spouse’s. […]
Control in Chaos
I have known it would be my turn to write a blog for a long time now. I have had it on my calendar for weeks. I’ve been praying about it for days. And still, my page remained blank. My mind and soul, however, have not been quiet. So many things have been vying for my attention and creating chaos in my heart. My heart breaks for headline after headline. My thoughts stray to tragedies and injustices. I can’t focus because there is a new calamity every day. I’m distracted by division, finger-pointing, and squabbling. Finally, I felt the Lord say, “Kathryn, just sit and listen to My words and remember I am in control.” So my page is no longer blank but filled with the words of the psalmist. I love the Lord because he hears my voice and my prayer for mercy. Because he bends down to listen, […]
Go to the desert this Lent
The season of Lent always stirs up images of entering a desert for me. I am brought back to memories of sitting in our gold van perched in my reclined chair with a pillow as I stared out the car window into the vast abyss of compacted rock forming a sea of brown. I think about the times I’ve been mesmerized by the National Geographic aerial photos, capturing the unseen patterns of the cracked earth worn from years under the piercing sun. The desert can seem mysteriously appealing from afar, yet becomes daunting at the thought of stopping the car, letting go of the security of its protective structure, the comfort of my plush pillow, and willingly walking across the cracked earth to the center of the desert. I imagine willingly following Jesus into a desert. It requires courage to follow Him into the desert, not as a stop along […]
Why Can’t I Rest?
I’m scrambled. Laundry invades my personal space. My feet fail me in the minefield of toddler chaos dispersed across the floor. My body tells the story of the struggle with the dead weight of tantrums and self-neglect. I’m tired to say the least. I started physical therapy last week for an impingement in my shoulder. The edges of my shoulders nearly met the tips of my ear lobes as my body seeks to guard itself against recurring pain. How am I to function in this space? And these are just the external things. Internally, grief crouches at the door of my heart waiting to pounce at the most inconvenient moment as I attempt to move forward after my father’s passing. Internally, I can’t seem to settle my mind on just one thought. The pressure of life, the woes of death, the anxiety for what’s to come is a little too […]
Praising Through The Suffering
I sat down at the front of the chapel, alone, except for the worship team who was warming up. It was my turn to deliver a devotion to the college, yet I had nothing. After a few weeks of winter sickness hitting our home hard, I had nothing left. For devotions—or anything else, really. Like most winters, our family was all under the weather. Living in a college community doesn’t help with sickness, either. This time, however, my husband, already immuno-compromised, suffered a bout of debilitating migraines as well. I sat at the front of the chapel, almost feeling sorry for myself. My voice still sounded hoarse, my husband’s head was still groggy, and I just felt drained. The last thing I wanted to do was to compose myself to give an encouraging devotional message to the college I work at. Sitting there, desperately trying to pray for some quick […]
Changing Your Outlook (in Christ)
Riding has been my passion since I was 8 years old. It is what I have lived, breathed, and dreamed of at times, and the Lord has always provided a way for me to be around horses–to which I am incredibly thankful. Riding has affected my life in such a knitted way that many of my experiences riding affect who I am outside of the arena. A few months ago, something changed with my riding that has deepened my love for Christ and trickled into the rest of my life. When you get on the horse, the horse looks, listens, and responds to what you want her to do or where to go, how fast, straight, and energetic you want her to be. Riding can be like a dance between two partners. The rider leads the way and the horse responds. It can be something beautiful…but if the rider is […]
Living on Mission: Are you my neighbor?
This is the second part of my thoughts about Living on Mission. For its companion, read Living on Mission: What is it Anyway? What was your favorite Bible story growing up? Maybe it was the story of Noah and all the animals, David and Goliath, Joseph and his very colorful coat, or Jesus walking on water. For me, it was the story of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37). (I actually called it The Good “Cemetery,” but hey, I was little, ok?) I’m not really sure why it stuck with me all these years, but I do know I was drawn to the person who saw a person in need and helped. When the Pharisees asked Jesus what the greatest command is, the second part of His answer included: ”Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39). It may lead you to wonder who your neighbor really is. This is the exact […]
This is my Father’s World
“This Is My Father’s World” is a hymn I was reintroduced to recently, and I have found its words to be calming in the midst of the anxious climate of uncertainties to be found outside my door. This blog is to be posted the Friday before an election that has brought about a great deal of division and disunity during a global pandemic that has also brought about the same. No matter what happens on this earth, the lyrics are a reminder that this is in fact our Father’s world, our future hope is secure in Him, and He is present in the intricate details of the world around us. Maltbie Davenport Babcock not only has a great name, but also wrote the words to this great hymn. Before heading out for evening walks, it is written that he would say, “I’m going out to see my Father’s world.” I […]
A Citywide Prayer Movement
When you think of a city where God is actively moving and doing wondrous works, what do you think of? What do you hope for God to accomplish in your city? I have a hope and prayer for my city that looks like this: For God’s presence to be felt in the city like it feels during an outdoor worship experience where God’s joy, hope and commission is palpably tangible. I pray that nonprofits work together; local pastors be united; people chained to addiction and brokenness be set free; for Christians across the city to have the benefit of Christian co-workers “in their corner” that encourage each other to lead with integrity, conviction, and love. I pray for city-wide discipleship: for older folks to show younger folks how to follow Christ. I pray for Christians to love their neighbors so well that people are drawn to wanting to know who […]