Healing when I’d lost hope

sad woman

Have you ever gone through a trial that seemed like it was just too much to bear?  I have.  Seven years ago, I had hit rock bottom. My marriage had completely fallen apart, and as a result, after five  “good years” I began to wrestle with self-harm again. To be honest, I was a complete mess. At that time in my life, I struggled a lot. The pain felt unbearable. I was having a hard time pushing through each day, and most nights I barely slept at all. I clearly remember one sleepless night when I was sitting at my kitchen table crying out to God, asking Him to help me get through it all. After praying about it for a while, I did what we all do when we can’t sleep and scrolled through Facebook. As it turned out, while I was praying for some words of hope to […]

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Peace in non-peaceful times

bible reading

As I scroll through social media or overhear conversations between people, I’m overwhelmed with the heaviness people are carrying in 2020. People are anxious, burnt out, exhausted, worried for sick loved ones, uncertain about the future, confused—our world is marked by a lack of peace. If I honestly examine my own thought life during this chaotic year, much of it has been characterized by a lack of peace, too. Wanting to grasp God’s peace during these uncertain times, I recently began searching the scriptures. I came across one of the names of Jesus, as prophesied in Isaiah 9:6, that struck me:  “For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” (ESV) Prince of Peace, or in the original Hebrew, ‘sar shalom‘.  It sounds […]

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This is my Father’s World

woman singing

“This Is My Father’s World” is a hymn I was reintroduced to recently, and I have found its words to be calming in the midst of the anxious climate of uncertainties to be found outside my door. This blog is to be posted the Friday before an election that has brought about a great deal of division and disunity during a global pandemic that has also brought about the same. No matter what happens on this earth, the lyrics are a reminder that this is in fact our Father’s world, our future hope is secure in Him, and He is present in the intricate details of the world around us.  Maltbie Davenport Babcock not only has a great name, but also wrote the words to this great hymn. Before heading out for evening walks, it is written that he would say, “I’m going out to see my Father’s world.” I […]

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The Paradox of Powerlessness

flowers rocks

This year has been a season of longing – longing for normalcy and longing for a return of routines, activities, and hangouts. Some of these longings are simple and easy to persevere through – longing to stand in a crowd at your favorite band’s concert, longing to go to the grocery store without being armed with Clorox wipes, or longing for the start of the college football season. Others are rooted in more sensitive and desperate parts of our hearts – longing to be surrounded by a life-giving community, longing for employment that feels meaningful and worthwhile, longing for a new relationship or healing in a current one.  In many ways, our whole lives are a series of thirsts that culminate in the ultimate thirst for Christ. The reality is, this thirst is unlikely to be fully quenched this side of heaven. With that in mind, how can we carry […]

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Jesus is not surprised by our weakness

“Without me, you can do nothing.” John 15:5 This simple line of scripture has felt relevant over, and over, and over again since March 16th.  Lacking Control – COVID-19 Edition Like most of you, my life has been put on hold, turned sideways, and restarted again on a much slower setting in the three weeks since COVID-19 became a growing reality across the world. My quarantine began a bit sooner than most, as out-of-state travel over spring break led me to make the decision to self-isolate before the shelter-in-place orders were widespread across my city, county, and state.  During the first week of this self-isolation, my mind was whirring with fear for myself, my family who I’d travelled with, my roommates who had also travelled over spring break, and our country at large. Every cough at the dinner table was met with widened eyes, multiple yawns in a row equated […]

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